For children and young people, the extent of their potential to be successful has been explained according to their intellectual intelligence (IQ) level for many decades. People with a high IQ level were believed to have high learning, decision making and application skills.
Then, in the mid-1990s, we started to believe that people with high emotional intelligence (EQ) would be more successful, happier, and more secure than those with high IQ. Having a high level of EQ became a desirable characteristic to have. Ability to use emotional intelligence by recognizing and managing oneself and understanding others became a big asset and still is.
In today’s rapidly changing business environment, people are encouraged to go beyond intellectual and emotional intelligence and to develop and use relationship intelligence (NQ = Networking Quotient). Relationship intelligence is to have the necessary competencies to establish and maintain strong human relationships in and outside of your workplace.
The NQ people maintain a wide range of interests, friends from different parts of society, and no difficulty whatsoever to connect and stay in contact with people from different platforms.
And the people who are relatively unsuccessful in establishing and maintaining healthy personal and professional relationships, who see themselves as superior, more important and powerful from others, and who like to dominate, force and bully others, obviously lack the relationship intelligence.
People who have a low level of NQ also seem to constantly exhibit confrontational behaviours. They don’t trust others, doubt everything, feel anxiety and stress, act prejudiced, emphasize differences and find excuses to create conflict.
Some of them prefer the cold war approach because they cannot take the negative consequences of the open conflict and the harsh reactions it creates. They use silent treatment by ignoring and emotionally harassing others.
As some people’s behaviours might vary from time to time, it becomes difficult to predict their relationship intelligence levels. Sometimes they show confrontational, oppressive, distant, relaxed or sociable behaviours. They may surprise by behaving differently even in similar situations.
On the other hand, individuals with a high level of relationship intelligence manage their relationships in a healthy and continuous way. They see themselves and others as equally respectable and valuable. They endeavour and take responsibility for their relationship to be meaningful and profitable for both parties. These people make it easier to enjoy a safe, peaceful and successful life for everyone.
Today, in order to be successful, we need to boost our NQ level by using and improving it widely every day, in every way. Because having a high level of IQ and/or EQ is not enough anymore.
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Wishing you calm and happiness,
Ipek
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