One of our mistakes in life is living in the past and replaying again and again and again the unfair and painful actions we had to endure and could do nothing about. We cannot swallow what they said or did to us. Every time we think about it, our heart hurts.
Forgiveness is the act of compassionately releasing the desire to punish someone or yourself for an offense. It is understandably hard to forgive and forget. But unless you let those roadblocks go, you cannot live in the now, or focus on your future.
Using your time and energy on thinking about this negative experience is not productive or beneficial. Though thinking about what has happened in detail, once and for all, accepting the anger and disappointment it makes you feel, would be the first step to forgive. As you would need to pinpoint the event that caused these negative feelings in the first place.
Also, in a situation which involves two or more parties, one party could never be the 100% at fault. Therefore; you also need to understand and accept your contribution to what happened, and start with forgiving yourself first. Then forgive the other party or parties who played a role in the whole thing. When you say to yourself; “I forgive —————– for his/her negative actions that hurt me for a long time. I send him/her positive energy and wish him/her all the best”, you will feel lighter and unburdened.
It will literally feel like a weight is off your shoulders. You will feel free and happy. Furthermore, you will have more room in your conscience to think about now and future. So, do yourself a favor and forgive both yourself and others and move on with your life. Please…
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Wishing you calm and happiness,
Ipek
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