The feeling that I had was extreme anxiety that started the moment I woke up and continued until the moment I fell asleep the next night. But was at least my sleep good? Nope. A very deep sleep, for the first couple of hours. Then wide awake for a few. One or two more hours of poor sleep. And wake up to the alarm clock feeling exhausted.
I didn’t want to leave my bed. Though my son was to get ready for school, and I was a single parent. I was in no condition to work, but I had to because that was our only income. It was a feeling of indiscribible torture. I couldn’t eat, I didn’t enjoy doing anything, and nothing was powerful enough to take me out of that state of depression.
That was almost ten years ago. Now when I think of those days, I remember how lonely and hopeless I felt. But I think that experience had so much to do with who I am and what I do today.
Suffering in silence
Depression, anxiety, and other mainstream mental problems are widespread conditions that millions of people are affected by every day. Though I don’t understand why, even though it’s something that every other person is living with, still is a taboo.
Also, why it’s a secondary health issue compared to physical ailments? How come we don’t mind consulting a doctor when we have nothing but a stuffy nose, but we refrain from getting help when we feel anxiety and depression?
Because we worry that word will get out, our boss will hear about it, our friends will know. They will look at us like something is wrong with us. They will talk about us. And more importantly, they will make a mental note that we are weak. That we are not strong enough to deal with problems, hence we are not worhty of a promotion maybe.
Have you felt that way? Does this all sound familiar to you? Are you trying to deal with something similar all by yourself? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions. You know what you have to do. If you love yourself and the ones who are near and dear to you, get help. Even if discreetly, reach out to someone. Please, do that not only for yourself but for everyone who loves you.
Image by Ulrike Mai from Pixabay
2 thoughts on “You are not alone”
Thank you for this. Anxiety and depression which in intended has been a part of my life since I was a passenger in a serious RTA over 20 years ago. I have received help and have made myself a priority this year and it has been a very healing year.
And thank you for taking the time to read my post and comment, Mia. I am happy to hear that you’ve made yourself your priority in 2020. Please keep doing that in 2021 and beyond. Because, you cannot pour from an empty cup.