Ipek Williamson

Insight Coach

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micromanager control freak playing with people like puppets

Are you a control freak?

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If you refuse to delegate and try to do everything yourself, if everything needs to be done on your schedule, if you are a perfectionist, if you micromanage others and often judge others’ behaviours, you might be a control freak.

We all need to feel safe as living beings. If we don’t have control over our environment to some degree, we can have a lot of problems mentally and emotionally. But when we feel the need to control other people to such a degree that it becomes smothering, that keeps others from being themselves. For instance, not letting our children explore and try new things, thus not having a chance to learn from their mistakes keeps their spirit from developing to its full potential.

Being in charge of everything, all the time, and not trusting anyone must be exhausting and extremely stressful. And also very uncomfortable for the people who have to live or work with that person.

In the past, I had the “pleasure” of working with one for a – fortunately – very short time. It was only two and a half months, but it was enough to make me question every little thing I did and every tiny decision I made during my time in that workplace. After a little while, you start feeling incapacitated, left with zero self-esteem and self-confidence, afraid of doing anything for that person, thinking that it will never be good enough for them.

That was disturbing but also an eye-opening experience for me. In retrospect, it encouraged me to observe my approach towards others. See whether or not I have any tendencies to micromanage people around me. As a wife, mother, employee, do I make life easier for everyone including myself or not? What do I have to learn and improve in this area?


It is easier said than done but when you try feeling relaxed and calm about what is outside your control everything goes smoother. When you do your part and let others deal with their part themselves everything works out better. We are here to enjoy this life not to make it harder for ourselves and others. People will make mistakes, nobody can read your mind and be you, act like you. Try to understand this. Just relax and let everything play out with the rhythm that the universe plans for you.

There is already enough stress that we cannot control but have to deal with every day, let us not add to it for ourselves and for people who are important to us.

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