It is as easy to make someone happy, as it is to break their heart into million pieces. Words might make your day, while words might hit you like arrows and deflate your self-confidence like a shrinking balloon.
It is important which words you choose while explaining yourself, but equally important aspect of communication would be recognizing how you say, what you would like to convey. Being honest does not mean breaking hearts left and right while expressing your opinion. You can still do that and be positive. The words you choose, the tone of voice you use, and the body language you reflect make a huge difference.
A criticism could only be helpful if it is constructive. Think about children, when you yell at them asking not to do whatever they are doing that is making you want to pull your hair, the possibility of them stoping what they are doing would be slim, whereas, if you approach them with a positive attitude, smiling face and an attractive distraction, they would obey your wishes much easier.
I have experienced it with my son when he was a toddler, and I was not the most patient mom. My mother pointed out that my son reacts much more positively when it is explained to him calmly why he should not do whatever we need him to stop doing. I followed her advice and found out that indeed I can communicate much easier with him when I talk to him in a softer and more understanding manner, also when I listen attentively to what he had to say.
We, adults, are not completely different than children. We show a parallel reaction to what we receive. It is just like a mirror reflecting what it sees in front of it. Positive, understanding, helpful and constructive communication always wins. Therefore; convincing someone and becoming members of the same team, working towards the same goal beneficial for both sides, becomes easier. So, what would you prefer? Clashing or uniting? Alienating or collaborating?
I am perfectly aware that you already know all of this, but I would once again like to remind you to please treat others the way you would like to be treated, no matter who they are and what they do… Because we are all equal under the sun after all…
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Wishing you calm and happiness,
Ipek
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