Think for a moment about the people in your life who are challenging to the point of being sometimes rude towards you. Then think about one of them as a person from an objective point of view, as a human being with a life other than the part they interact with you. What might be the underlying reason for them to be the person that they are? What other areas of life they are lacking happiness and satisfaction that leads them to be the way they are? Try to analyze them without being prejudicial. Because often times those who cause suffering for others are suffering themselves.

If you are struggling with sending compassion to someone challenging, try to focus on the positives that you gain from the relationship you have with that person, rather than thinking and speaking of all the negatives. Because nobody can only have negative character traits or actions. Nothing can only be negative all the way, there is always at least a few positives. Try to magnify those positive character traits and try to reach out to the person through those positive sides of their personality.

When you think of them, send them your love and your positive vibes. And as what you focus on always grows, by doing this, you will start seeing that person from a more neutral and impartial point of view. You will start to understand them better, and you will start not to take things they say and do as personal as you used to in the past.

In the end, re-launch your relationship with that person, leaving bad experiences and prejudices behind. Forgive them for how they made you feel in the past on many occasions. Furthermore, turn around and look at yourself. See if it is just them always but not you at all – which I believe can never be true, and see what you need to fix on your end.

This whole exercise will make you feel like a bigger person, will give you the feeling of peace, will help with cleaning your aura and making it shinier (I will touch upon the “aura” subject in more detail later through a separate blog post).

Being constructive rather than destructive, and being proactive rather than reactive always win. You will benefit from practicing this approach sooner or later, and you will be glad you did.